#1. He gets you.
When you are feeling angry or sad, he knows exactly what to do. He doesn’t just ask “Are you okay?” like everyone else does, but rather gives you the time and space you need. You don’t have to explain yourself to him because he accepts you for who you are and understands you.
#2. You can communicate without any words.
You know you’re close to someone when you don’t feel discomfort during long periods of silence. And when you can speak to each other almost telepathically, it’s awesome! He knows what you’re thinking before you even say it.
#4. He encourages you wholeheartedly.
He believes in you and motivates you to go after your dreams. He never holds you back from going for the things you want in life. He is your number one supporter. (After mom, of course.)
#8. He likes the things you do.
We are attracted to people who are similar to us. You both like the same books and movies, and have the same taste in art. When someone shares your interests, it is easy to keep the conversation going and the date ideas are endless.
#16. He’s the same person you first met.
During the time you’ve known each other, he has changed his hairstyle a few times and has lost weight over the years. He exercises regularly now with his Fitbit and no longer spends majority of his time gaming in front of his computer. However you know that these are all minor things, because he is true to himself. He is that same honest, sweet and caring guy that you’ve always known.
#18. You resolve issues together.
A relationship is not all rainbows and butterflies. The strongest and healthiest ones are built on a foundation of trust and communication. When you fight, you do not leave things unresolved. Rather, you talk through your issues and decide on restitutions together.
#20. He treats you well.
He knows when he is wrong and does not hesitate to apologize to you when he has made a mistake. His pride and ego do not prevent him from treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You are an important person in his life, and he makes sure he shows you.
#22. You can confide in him.
You can tell him whatever is on your mind, no matter how seemingly insignificant it may seem. Being with him is easy and makes you feel safe. You know that he will not think poorly of you, no matter what you tell him.
More things we both need to work at…
#1. She’s not lost without you.
She has her own life. When you have your own commitments, she doesn’t question what you’ve been doing when she’s not around. Couples that have been together for a long period of time respect each other’s time and space.
#2. She is comfortable in her own skin.
This girl is confident in the things she does. She doesn’t care what other people think about her and doesn’t go out of her way to please everyone. She knows that at the end of the day, it is more important to be secure with who she is than seek other people’s approval.
#3. She doesn’t hold grudges.
Conflicts are no stranger to relationships. Arguments come and go but it is more important to learn how to deal with differences productively. When she fights with you, she knows how to cool down and does not hold anything against you.
#4. She’s not unreasonable.
She doesn’t make crazy requests that she knows you can’t fulfill. She doesn’t expect you to be a superhero with superhuman powers nor read her mind. This girl understands that you are human and should be treated as such.
#5. She says what’s on her mind.
A woman with confidence and who speaks her truth is attractive. She is honest with you and tells you as it is even when you don’t feel like hearing it. She lets you know when you’ve disappointed her.
#7. She is patient with you.
She understands if you don’t have time to see her this week and was cool about that one time you bailed on her. She knows that you have your shortcomings and may lose your temper once in awhile, yet she still remains at your side. She waits for you and helps you out through difficult circumstances.
#24. She doesn’t force you to change.
This may be one of the most important signs of all. She accepts you for who you are, the good and bad included, without forcing you to change for her. She does not judge you based on her standards/expectations and allows you to just be yourself.
Things we still lack…
*1. They have unreasonable expectations of you.
This person could be a family member, friend or romantic partner who expects you to be superhuman. They don’t allow you to make mistakes but when you do, they judge you severely. They expect you to be perfect at all times and are disappointed when you are not…
2. They are verbally, mentally or emotionally abusive.
This person makes jokes about you all the time and they are clearly laughing at you, not with you. Abuse does not have to be as extreme as yelling names or attacking someone physically… Another sign of abuse could be when they purposely make you feel bad for going after your dreams and doing your own thing simply because they don’t agree with your motives.
*3. They take more than they give.
A relationship has to work both ways, meaning that there needs to be some kind of reciprocity for it to work. This reciprocity applies to all relationships. It’s not just treating people to meals or giving them presents as a token of affection, but also giving them your time and energy. It’s getting to know each other more intimately by sharing your thoughts and feelings. It’s really unfair when one person takes more than they need and doesn’t know how to give back. When this happens, the inequality makes the relationship becomes one-sided and dysfunctional.
**4. You feel that you always have to watch yourself around that person.
It’s stressful being around that person because you have to police yourself at all times. You know that you have to monitor your behavior and censor yourself because they only expect to see a particular version of you. It’s an idealistic one, and it’s uncomfortable for you because you feel that you cannot be yourself. Good relationships make you grow and feel free, they do not control you.
5. They don’t respect you.
Respect is fundamental to human relationships, but it is an aspect that is hard to maintain. When someone is not able to respect your way of life and beliefs because they don’t agree with them, then it’s not worth continuing the relationship…
**6. They are codependent.
They always expect you to drop everything for them when they need you. They demand that you are free when they want to hang out. They act selfishly because they think that they are a high priority in your life. Codependency doesn’t work because one person is insecure and will always expect more than you can provide.
*7. They cannot deal with conflict.
When you get into an argument with them, you notice that they tend to take things personally instead of constructively. They blame you and fault you for problems, without owning up to their own shortcomings. They are self-righteous and cannot accept that they have made mistakes too. People who don’t know how to deal with conflict are not able to grow because they can only see things from their perspective.
*8. They don’t trust you.
It’s common to be wary of others early in a relationship as a way of protecting yourself from perceived harm. However, if you’ve known them for some time now and they still do not trust you then this may be a sign of a toxic relationship. You may have experienced this when they didn’t want to give you a clear answer to your question, acted evasively around you or if they constantly keep tabs on your activity when you aren’t with them.
Pondering about my relationship